Not Afraid

I am not paranoid, anxious, fretful or a worry-wort.  But when I think about something dire happening to my husband, it gets hard to breathe.

So when he was admitted to the local hospital last week, and then ambulanced to a larger one 150 miles away, I would have expected some panic to set in.

But I was not afraid.

When his fever raged, his vision doubled and he vomited every time he moved his head, I would have thought I'd have fallen to pieces.

But I was not afraid.

When the dreaded words "West Nile" and "meningitis" were spoken, I would have expected fear to rope my mind and drag it around like a lassoed calf.

But I was not afraid.

I was concerned.  I prayed with a frequency and fervor unlike any conversation I've had with God before.  But it wasn't a prayer of panic or desperation.  God's hand of calm was on my heart throughout this ordeal, and the words of Psalm 23 were true in a way I've never known before.

"Though my husband walked through the valley of the shadow of death, I feared no evil, for You were with me.  Your rod and your staff comforted me… My cup overflows."

Hundreds of people were praying for Wade's protection and recovery, and God heard and answered those prayers in an amazing way.  Yesterday, less than a week after being released from the hospital, he worked almost a full 8-hour day without becoming over-tired.

But I suspect that someone, maybe some-many, were also praying for me, and God also answered those prayers in an amazing way.

I was not afraid.

Praise God!