Thoughts for Father's Day

This week I had the pleasure of having face-to-face adult conversations with four women around my age who also have at least three children. It has been great. Although we've been in North Dakota for over a year and a half now, there aren't many people here who I call friends, other than our church family who we generally only see on Sundays. So meeting new people and getting to know some others better is a big deal for me.

But beyond the blessing of developing friendships, spending time with these ladies has also helped me realize how amazingly blessed I already am. You see, three of these women are single mothers. Two are divorced (their ex-husbands are either off the radar or a thousand miles away) and the other is a widow (she's my age with three daughters under the age of six).

Now don't get me wrong, I thank God daily for Wade and I tell him I love him several times each day. I realize I am blessed to have the best job in the world -- staying home to raise our kids. I know that it is God's provision and Wade's willingness to work hard that allow me this privilege, and I am so thankful. But seeing the challenges these women come up against every day makes me realize how much I still take my husband for granted.

It's the little things that I fail to appreciate, because they're really no big deal... until you have to do them alone.

For example, the widowed lady commented that one of her daughters recently graduated to a "big girl" bed. And I thought how strange I would feel making that decision alone. When our kids changed beds, I asked Wade, "do you think it's time? Do you think he's ready yet?" And together we decided, yes it's time. Together we put away the cribs and assembled the bunk beds. And together we sat, with fingers crossed, hoping that our boys would sleep soundly through the night in their new beds. It's not a big deal, but in my mind it's a two-person deal.

When Wade first began his job in North Dakota and moved out here a few weeks ahead of the boys and me, I got a little taste of what single parenting is like. I realized how much I depend on Wade to be there to help tuck the kids in at bedtime, how much I count on him to take care of the "manly" parts of home and auto maintenance, how much I need him to listen to my ramblings and offer advice and encouragement. The song "Lean on Me" comes to mind, particularly the line, "we all need someone to lean on." Wade is definitely my "leaning post," and without him I very well may just tip right on over!

Spending time with these single women also made me realize what a blessing it is to have a dad in my life. What if my parents hadn't lived together, loved each other and worked together to raise me and my siblings? What would my life and my brother and sister's lives be like if Dad hadn't been there? There would have been no tickle monster, no fishing, no after-dinner games of hide-and-seek and kick-the-can, no fort in our backyard. Once again, it's little things that suddenly seem very important when I think about the possibility of them not being there.

I've too often taken for granted that every year I and my children have a reason to celebrate -- really rejoice and be glad! -- that it's Father's Day. So Wade and Dad, I want you to know how very much I love, appreciate and cherish you and all the little things you do that I don't think to say thank-you for. Thank-you for always being there and for being the wonderful dads that you are!